Players you dont want on your Team - Middle aged work/life balance whiner
It’s getting to prime time. Around about 9pm. You’ve been playing for a few hours now, and having a good time with the regular crew. But you know they aren’t far off. They’re getting ready. Waiting. One by one, they arrive. They blend in at first, but before long they’ve overwhelmed the server population. The quality of gameplay goes down - yet they scream and demand more of you. As if you are there to personally entertain them. Who the hell do they think they are?
They’re the middle aged player with precious few minutes on their hands. They’re on an urgent mission to sneak in a few minutes idle gaming in between getting kids off to bed, or watching TV, or after getting home from a long day before crashing and doing it all again.
I’ve been half way through writing this post for a while. I get a certain way through, then lose momentum and hit the delete button. I think people have come to expect exaggerated tales of outlandish stereotypes on this site. The middle age whiner just seemed too… familiar. I’d be trying to come up with funny anecdotes, but they all seemed fairly ho-hum. Is it because middle aged players just aren’t that interesting?
It’s… me?
A couple of weeks back I hit the bit three-O. And it hit me. The reason it is so hard to find anything extreme because - it’s me I’m talking about. I have slowly become one of the middle aged work/life balance whiners I was so trying to mock.
I just get cranky. I get an hour max to play most days. Crammed somewhere in between getting home from work, making dinner, doing dishes, chilling out, and going to bed. This explains a few of my outbursts of recent note. MY TF2 SESSION IS PRECIOUS DAMN IT. You kids are screwing with my tightly planned out leisure time. IT’S ON THE SCHEDULE STUCK TO THE FRIDGE. IT’S SACRED!
Yes. I have finally admitted that I don’t like teenagers’ music. I like watching the same lame TV shows my parents liked. My hair is getting grayer by the week. And my fitness levels get harder to maintain. Yup. I’m a cranky old man with cranky old man views on how things should be. And I will tell you about it - as is my need and want as a white, middle aged male.
So what’s your problem anyway? Just play more if you really want.
So why exactly am I like this? Lets look at a photo essay of my life commitments which contribute to my lack of quality TF2 time:
- Acting in an ecologically sustainable and socially responsible manner
Getting face-crammed next to some fat guy with body odor on the train.
- A challenging and rewarding career
Updating this blog from work, and trying to look busy (Just kidding if you’re reading this Adam and Mark - You know I’m good
)
- A rich and rewarding social life
This mainly just involves drinking really
- Spending quality time with my significant other
No seriously, this bit is actually pretty good. We enjoy ourselves and are happy
.
So what can you do about it?
Well, not much really. But I’m pretty harmless. I’m not into it enough to really cause any harm. I’ll mostly just whine at people who I think are more incompetent than me on my team. I have a tight little window to play every night. It’s gotta be casual games, cause I don’t have time for clans. I am expecting quality. If you don’t give it to me I WILL bitch about it on voice comms.
So… just mute me if you want.
madlep on March 18th 2008 in funny, garrys mod, n00bs, rants, team fortress 2
Stumble it!
Wormbrain responded on 18 Mar 2008 at 11:51 pm #
Being a 30 year old gamer, I can say this is disturbingly accurate. However, I’ve managed to accrue more TF2 time, by simply staying up late and not sleeping as much.
* My own personal photo essay of life would include an extra frame of me changing diapers with the pyro blowtorch.
tomfin responded on 19 Mar 2008 at 1:42 am #
Yep, 28 and right with you there buddy.
Too easy to forget that while I’ve been playing games for the past 18-20 years, that’s plenty of time to form some brand new young gamers from scratch with the help of a consenting lady-friend, and the caffeine-laced nectar that is Irn Bru has a more positive effect on their reaction times than my dull wits.
Still - when we’re 60 year old silver-surfing gamers they’ll be 50-odd, and the playing field is level again as we all bitch about the new-new-new generations together
Elvis! responded on 19 Mar 2008 at 1:57 am #
I turned 24 today and I have no idea WHAT you’re talking about! except the drinking bit….and the stuck on the train bit….and the cranky views bit.
I actually just poured myself a bourbon at work whilst I read this. I win!
b4dboyz- responded on 19 Mar 2008 at 4:58 am #
God I’m so young compared to you guys. 16, and loving teenager music! I don’t mind your bitching on comms. At least it’s better than the guys at Team Roomba’s server or the 11 year old who makes my ears bleed. I only play about an hour during weekdays, but the weekend I spend as much time I can the computer before my brother presses the restart button on the computer and telling me it is his turn…
ch1x0r responded on 19 Mar 2008 at 8:39 am #
Funnily enough, I can completely relate to your situation. I’m typing this at work right now. I’ve got a full-time job, I’m a grumpy commuter who wakes up at 6am and gets home at 7pm. I feel like a hag getting pissed off at students on the train. Though I’m only 19 years young so I have less of a right to bitch about it.
This lack of time is the main reason I stay away from 2fort on weekdays.
D4rkone responded on 19 Mar 2008 at 12:19 pm #
Heh, I’ve certainly had those kinda moments. Coming home from school and just like, “Ok, today sucked….maybe some TF2 can cheer me up.” But nothing is worse than having a sucky team during that time. I’ve had plenty of times where I’ve just wanted to rant someone out because a) They’re worse than me or b) Not helping the team.
Just remember, just like I used to work at bowling alley, some people do certain things to escape the cruelty of the modern world. Make it as much of a pleasant experience as possible
madlep responded on 20 Mar 2008 at 7:56 am #
@Wormbrain - From experience with kids belonging to friends and family, you could also try sticky bombs. Start off with 4 and see how it goes. Depending on the mess, you may need to lay down 6 or 8 to clean it up.
@Elvis - Respect for drinking at work. Would help here some days… (JK)
@ch1×0r - Cranky-middle-agedness is a state of mind, and you’re as old as you feel. Welcome to the club
atomicthumbs responded on 20 Mar 2008 at 9:30 am #
where is her hand going
Croaker responded on 20 Mar 2008 at 9:40 am #
Just mute you? Way ahead of you. I mute everyone. I’m so old I can’t stand voice comms in games.
(It’s how you’ll feel in 20 years when we are expected to wear telepathy headsets, youngster.)
n00bie51 responded on 20 Mar 2008 at 11:16 am #
I’m merely fifteen, but I can totally sympathize with those with less time. Not everyone has much time to play, so I think they have the right to enjoy what time they do get. The problem is that Team Fortress 2, as its title states, is team-oriented, and the consequence of the mistakes and crappiness of one player is reflected on the team itself. In The Days of Old, where gamers played Ye Olde Doom and Quake, there was always the option of free-for-all death match, a competition where every player fought for his own glory (unless he stole kills from others, the bastard) and had nobody to ruin the fun or the chance of victory except him or herself. Then, there came team death match, CTF, oddball, all this other good stuff, but in order to be successful for those modes players had to work together as a coordinated force, something that can be difficult as it is, even more so in public online matches, but FFA was always there.
Now, some games (Gears of War, TF2) have completely eliminated free for all death match altogether with an emphasis on team work, for better or worse. That means that the experience of having fun is now the responsibility of individuals who have to work together in order to succeed or at least have fun, which can be the bane of gamers who simply don’t have time for organized, competitive matches, which is totally understandable.
What can be done to resolve this aside from playing in more organized, focused matches? There are two alternatives: Play a game where you don’t have to rely on others in order to have fun. That means not TF2, unfortunately. Another alternative is that Valve implements game match making of sorts with ranks involved, something similar to Xbox Live’s system of bringing players of similar skill together for a fun, challenging game (although not too similar I hope, considering TruSkill on Live is seriously flawed in some aspects, and there are always problems with rank such as cheaters and such), so players may take ranked matches more seriously and are encouraged to work collaboratively with others. It wouldn’t be serious competitive gaming, mind you, but it would be sufficient enough for gamers like yourselves with only so much time to play to at least enjoy it.
Of course, ranked match making is far from perfect from what I’ve experienced on Xbox Live, but I’m sure Valve could improve on it if they cared to.
Gehn responded on 22 Mar 2008 at 3:03 pm #
I’m only 19 but my quasi old man Ehlers-Danlos joints give me a bit of an older person’s attitude at times. I dislike most teenagers’ music and although I have no job, life, etc I still feel like I do not have enough time for gaming (never understood that one but whatever).
On the other hand, I probably will never have to worry about having to balance life and gaming just because my lack of a life means that I’ll be an old man with extremely painful joints and no wife or kids, just sitting in my computer chair until I get too tired to game anymore.
Wow, I realize once again that I have a very depressing future. Hopefully at the very least it won’t involve living with my parents forever…
Elvis! responded on 24 Mar 2008 at 1:38 am #
TF2 papercraft:
http://highwaychile.net/item/29
John responded on 24 Mar 2008 at 9:09 pm #
Funniest TF2 video yet:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioysRyKLNHI
Very Monty Python-esque.
madlep responded on 24 Mar 2008 at 9:19 pm #
@Elvis - that papercraft rocks
@John - Correct. That is quite possibly the funniest TF2 video ever.